Let's start with a recent Crash Boom Bang sketch. More pictures and/or video later.
Standup Zombie
Zombie: cls
Interpreter: Ashley Vaughn
ACT I
Scene 1
Zombie comic introduced as The Zombie Comic. ZC comes out in zombie makup but 1980s stereotype comedian attire: jeans, sneakers, Members Only jacket maybe. He lurches to mike and starts moaning unintelligible nonsense, tapping mic as if to say, "is this thing on?"
ZC
Mah Zombah! Grh? Grh? Ana! Zmah! Zhraa!
ZC is clearly frustrated.
ZC
Gahhahng! Gahhahng!
Audience plant
Excuse me, I speak Zombie.
Audience plant - now Interpreter - comes up to stage left. She can have notes and a podium with no problem. She is dressed for business and has the air of a UN interpreter. She hears ZC groan in Zombish, and clearly and enthusiastically translates jokes into plain English.
ZC
Zangz! Mah zombah! Grh!
Interpreter
Thanks for coming out. Hey, how's everyone doing? Ready to have a good time?
ZC
Mah zombah. Mah zombah garg harman brainz.
INTERPRETER
In case you couldn't tell, I am a zombie and I eat human brains.
ZC looks hungrily out at audience, then steps back behind mic.
ZC
Harman mahb nah brabram.
INTERPRETER
Well, you people have nothing to worry about.
ZC
Bahahaha! Mah zambah hab har-har!
INTERPRETER
Hey, I'm just kidding.
ZC
Grrrh.
INTERPRETER
But seriously.
ZC
Harmans gahn Grisha Hagh?
INTERPRETER
Any Grissom High graduates here tonight?
ZC looks around.
ZC
Grohn slahhah.
INTERPRETER
Don't worry, I'll talk slower.
ZC
Mah zombah b rannan - nahn hangarg haarh.
ZC
Mah zombah gah na-ahnna zaghana.
INTERPRETER
So, my girlfriend broke up with me.
ZC
Mah zombah sahd raba gangbang brains! Grh.
INTERPRETER
All I did was tell her I loved her for her mind. And she walked out, just like that.
ZC
Zaganah. Ahm rrahrh rrhnrrh?
INTERPRETER
Women. What's up with them?
ZC
Mah zombah nah hranz na zaganah. Zaganah mah zombah grab tattoo.
INTERPRETER
So, I've been seeing a new girl. She wants me to get a tattoo.
ZC
Mah zombah zahz "Ragh!" Mah zombah grab tattoo ehkh-a-skeh, zah ih ... nah lakh tattoo mah zombah mabban arm zmazh.
INTERPRETER
I say "sure, sweetheart!" I think I'll get a tattoo of an Etch-A-Sketch, so if ... I don't like the design I can just shake my arm and start over like this.
ZC demonstrates by shaking arm.
INTERPRETER
So, I've been on the road a lot lately, for the past oh, nine hundred years.
ZC
Mah zambah hab har-har baggah hazdah zahn zaz zaz.
INTERPRETER
I'm now going to tell a joke about the Battle of Hastings in 1066.
ZC changes mind midstream.
ZC
Hrrg. OOOOOH ZOOON!
INTERPRETER
Too soon!
ZC
Haaaaaaag!
INTERPRETER
You've been a fantastic audience, thank you and good night!
Interpreter exits. Lights down.
All rights reserved.
0 comments:
Post a Comment